


When His Eyes Bled Tears

by Lonely_starlight_dreams



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt/Comfort, Jaskier deserves better, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings, Mentioned Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, POV Jaskier | Dandelion, POV Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sort Of, Tags Contain Spoilers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22856044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonely_starlight_dreams/pseuds/Lonely_starlight_dreams
Summary: “If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!”That had been the end of it. That had been the moment his heart had been crushed. The exact moment when the tears had begun to form in his eyes and the cracks in his voice had revealed his devastation.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 24
Kudos: 620





	1. Jaskier's POV

“If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!”

That had been the end of it. That had been the moment his heart had been crushed. The exact moment when the tears had begun to form in his eyes and the cracks in his voice had revealed his devastation.

“See you around, Geralt” he had said, but he didn’t mean it. He wouldn’t be able to bear seeing the Witcher’s face ever again. It would just hurt too much.

He understood that he was an annoyance. He was content in fulfilling the role of the travelling companion Geralt could barely put up with.

He had almost been _happy_ , taking the good with the bad in all of their adventures. In all of the things he had put up, he did it just to walk beside Geralt. Just to _be_ with Geralt.

He never hid his admiration for the Witcher. He never felt the need. It wasn’t like the white-haired man ever took any notice of what he said in the first place.

He never really took any notice of Jaskier in general.

And yet, he stayed by his side. He wrote songs about him. He took care of him when he was injured. He shared the money he earned from singing to get them proper rooms and food.

He did everything he could to show how much he  _ cared _ for Geralt, but he never noticed. Or if he did, he didn’t find it to be something to show appreciation towards.

_ He never appreciated me _ , Jaskier thought.  _ I was never worthy of his appreciation. Or his thanks. Definitely not his kindness _ .

He wasn’t worthy. That’s what it boiled down to. 

Jaskier walked down the mountain in silence. There was no song he could sing to lighten his mood. No stories to tell himself that would mend his broken heart. The world even seemed quieter than normal, and it only made the bard feel worse.

He was alone now, and probably would be for a very long time. The journey down the mountain itself would take a while, and he felt his feet were unmotivated to walk faster than a slow drag. It didn’t matter anyways; he didn’t know what he would do once he reached the bottom.

It wasn’t as if Jaskier hadn’t travelled alone between the time he first met Geralt and now. They had gone different ways occasionally, sometimes because Jaskier has somewhere to be that Geralt didn’t need to come along to, but other times it was simply because Geralt was tired of dealing with the babbling bard.

Some nights, Jaskier would wake to find an empty room cleared of all arm and weaponry Geralt always kept close at hand. It always hurt him when it happened, but he would just tell himself that they would meet again at some point and there was no reason to despair.

This time though, there would be no meeting again. Geralt had told him quite clearly that he never wanted to see Jaskier ever again. 

The moment had been building for quite some time, it seemed, and Geralt must have been ecstatic to finally have enough reason to get rid of Jaskier for good.

At that thought, Jaskier suddenly stopped in the middle of the road. A huge rush of  _ cold _ overtook his body and suddenly he fell to his knees.

Then, he began to weep.

Years and years of emotional exhaustion combined with this recent heartbreak came together in one enormous sob as Jaskier’s head dropped to the ground, hands grasping at his hair.

“I was never going to be good enough,” Jaskier sobbed in realization. “I was never enough.”

His heart was in pieces, his scalp burned like a raging fire, and his eyes bled salty tears into a giant ocean across his cheeks.

_ I’m not good enough _ , he thought over and over again. Soon this thought became so loud that the words began to seep out of his mouth and into the world.

“I’m not good enough I’m not good enough I’m not good enough I’m not good enoug-”

“Jaskier?”

The bard’s head shot up like an arrow. Standing in front of him was none other than Yennefer of Vengerberg.

“Ah, Yennefer! I’m s-s-sure you must be very h-happy with yourself right now, seeing me like this,” Jaskier replied through sobs and a laugh as bile and bitter as vomit.

“Jaskier, what happened?” Yennefer said. There was a forcefulness in her voice but, surprisingly, it didn’t seem to be due to anger. Somehow, she seemed concerned.

“Oh you know, just got blamed for a few of Geralt’s mistakes, a few of  _ yours _ . It was a good time, I’m sorry you missed it!” The sarcasm lacing each and every word falling from Jaskier’s tongue hardly surprised the witch, however it was the amount of venom dripping from his tone that caught her attention. She knew this had something to do with Geralt and, since she wasn’t exactly on the best terms with the Witcher either, she felt empathy towards the crying bard. 

_ His heart is broken _ , she realized. This discovery must’ve been evident in her eyes, because anger began to fill Jaskier’s. The bard, stumbling, stood to face the witch properly.

“Don’t you  _ dare _ pity me, Yennefer. We both know you’ve always meant more to Geralt. I travelled with him for  _ years _ and then you came along and gained his affections  _ instantly and effortlessly _ .”

Yennefer was again taken aback by the harshness of his words.

Jaskier continued ranting, saying “Then again, how could I possibly measure up compared to you? I’m just some stupid, useless bard, right? I know that’s what you think of me. That’s what Geralt did. I’m  _ useless _ . I’m  _ weak _ . I’m always getting into trouble! I’m--”

Suddenly, arms wrapped around Jaskier. Yennefer was hugging him, tightly.

“Shut up, you  _ idiot _ . You’re not useless. You’re better than him. You’re better than  _ me _ . Sure, you can’t kill monsters with a silver sword or create a bloody portal, but you have this  _ heart _ . This strong, powerful heart that this fucked up world really needs right now.

“Geralt is a piece of shit. He treated you horribly, but you put up with it. You put up with it because you  _ cared _ about him. He didn’t deserve your kindness. He didn’t deserve  _ you _ . You deserve  _ better, _ Jaskier.”

With that final statement, the sobs returned with extreme force that knocked the two hugging figures back onto the dirt floor. Jaskier’s arms wrapped around Yennefer tightly as the tears streamed down his face.

He couldn’t understand why she was doing this, but at that moment he didn’t care. Right now, he needed somebody to comfort him.

“You  _ are _ good enough,” she repeated over and over to him. Jaskier didn’t know what Yennefer had gone through before she became a witch. Through this small gesture, she was doing what she wished somebody had done for her during her childhood.

Eventually, his tears began to dry up and Yennefer pulled them both up so they were standing again.

“Thank you, Yennefer,” Jaskier said. For the first time since they had met, Jaskier could see there was at least a small amount of humanity within the powerful witch.

“Ya ya whatever, but if you tell anybody about this I  _ will _ find you. And I will murder you.”

And for the first time in what felt like forever, Jaskier began to laugh. It was a beautiful sound to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this actually brought tears to my eyes! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed creating it!
> 
> Tumblr: [yourlocalspacebisexual](https://yourlocalspacebisexual.tumblr.com)


	2. Yennefer's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to add a small chapter on Yennefer's POV after the Mountain Fight. Enjoy!

Yennefer was furious.

_ That fucking asshole _ , she thought.  _ What is with men and believing I need saving? _

After the intense fight on the mountain, Yennefer was running low on chaos. And on patience. With too little energy to portal down the mountain, the witch was forced to walk. Like a common human.  _ Disgusting _ .

“He had no fucking right!” Yennefer exclaimed to the air. “He’s ruined everything.”

All through her life, Yennefer had been forced to make her own way in the world. The world had been cruel to her, but she learned and adapted and survived. She learned that, in order to keep her head above water, she would need to decide whether she was the one gaining control or the one losing it to someone else.

In every relationship that she had ever been in, she was the one calling the shots. If she wanted to have sex, she would seduce whoever she wanted. If she felt vulnerable, she would take someone who thought they mattered to her, and tear them down savagely with her words. If she wanted to be alone, she was nowhere to be found.

But then this man. This stupid, dense, thick-headed Witcher had to stumble into her life a destroy everything she had tried to build for herself.

“I  _ would _ make a good mother.”

Although she was confident, Yennefer had to admit that she couldn’t exactly follow by example. Every person who seemed remotely like a mother figure in her life had let her down in one way or another. Tissaia bullied her throughout all of her training and then laughed at her attempts to regain fertility. Her actual mother had allowed her to be sold off for four marks.

Doubt began to creep into her mind. ‘What if’s’ and ‘maybe’s’ started swirling as she continued down the path.

“I still deserve the choice,” she said to herself. Her tone sounded determined, but falsely so. Uncertainty began to take root.

What if she didn’t deserve the choice? What if she was truly never meant to have a child? What if she was never going to gain the power she desired? What if she truly was worth four marks?

_ What if I’m not good eno- _

Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice with an eerily similar choice of words.

“I’m not good enough I’m not good enough I’m not good enough-”

Yennefer’s mind was ripped back in time to when she had been sure of the same thing. To when the world was telling her the same thing. To when she had been willing to give up her life for that same thing.

“Jaskier?”

She’d never let herself go back to that time. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to watch anybody go through that for an  _ idiotic Witcher _ .

“Ah, Yennefer!”

And thus, a new chapter in her life began. It started simply, with one clear thought.

_ I’m going to kill that motherfucking bastard. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but sweet! I hope you guys enjoyed a bit of Yennefer's thoughts.  
> Tumblr: [yourlocalspacebisexual](https://yourlocalspacebisexual.tumblr.com)


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